Praying for Our Children While We Are Still Able

Parenting calls for prayer and I battle the daily temptation to find something else to do.

 

The reason for this is probably because I am a “doer”. I like to put my time to good use and see a visible result. I could spend ten minutes praying, but I could also spend ten minutes marking some Maths, tidying the kitchen or even reading a book (so I can tick something off on my reading challenge!). When I pray, I cannot always “mathematically” connect my prayer to the result and I often think I am not all that good at praying anyway.

 

However, I do know that God answers prayer. There have been many times in our married life where we have hit a situation that felt like a wall. There was literally no way through and yet we prayed and God opened a door, gave us an idea or ministered peace. I am always humbled by his answer because my prayer-life seems so puny and faithless. I am genuinely horrified to be forty-three, a Christian most of my life and yet still a baby in the prayer department.

 

So, I am writing this article to myself, calling to mind the reasons for prayer and remembering that one day I will be with Christ and no longer able to pray for my children.

 

As the years tick by, I see more clearly the truth that I have long-known academically: our children inherited their sinful natures from us. Recently, I pointed out to Simon that one of our children is extremely highly-strung. He (helpfully!) pointed out to me that I am also extremely highly-strung and this particular child inherited it from me. Rather than reacting in a highly-strung fashion (!), I did see the funny side, but it has opened my eyes to see my nature in my little ones. I take comfort in the fact that Christ saved me and if he could save me then he can save them!

 

There is a scriptural principal that when we wrong somebody, we must do our best to make amends for what we have done (Matthew 5:23). We owe our children the debt of the gospel and in storing up prayers for them, we are laying up a treasury infinitely more valuable than gold or silver.

 

The Psalmist writes, “On the day I called, you answered me, my strength of soul you increased.” (Psalm 138:3).

The character of God is unchanging across millennia and if the Psalmist recognised the strengthening of his own soul through prayer, then surely it is right for us to search out the same fruit today.

 

Perhaps we have had a difficult day with the children. We feel as though we have been putting out fires all day and we have lost perspective on what we are doing. We are not even sure that God can work through us. Very often, some time spent in prayer renews our conviction and opens our eyes to progress made rather than focusing on backward steps.

 

The true child of God feels the hypocrisy of praying one moment and then losing her cool with a child the next. The puritan theologian John Owen writes, ‘Prayer will keep the soul humble and watchful over its spiritual condition. He who prays as he ought will make every effort to live as he ought.’

 

As mothers, when we spend time in prayer, we become increasingly aware of our own sin. We grow in alertness to sinful external action and speech, but also to inner discontent and grumbling. We become humbled by our need of God’s work of sanctification, and our own shortcomings. So often, God does not obviously answer a prayer in the way we might think he should, rather he changes our heart to manage a situation. I might pray that two children will stop squabbling, but at direct response could really be the easy way out. What is more likely is that God will work in my own heart to give me wisdom and grace to deal with the bickering when it arises.

 

There is a pattern of parents praying specifically for their own children in the Bible and these should spur us on. Manoah, the father of Samson prayed for guidance when he learned that his wife was expecting a child. He cried out “O Lord, please let the man of God, whom you sent come again to us and teach us what we are to do with the child who will be born” (Judges 13:8). I often pray for guidance for my children. I pray God will show me how to help a struggling child, how to respond to squabbles, and how to best prepare our children for the future. I do not have the answers and I do not need to know the end of the story, but I often pray for light for the next step.

 

Job prayed for mercy. He rose early in the morning and offered burnt sacrifices saying “It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts” (Job 1:5). We need to pray that God will have mercy on their children. They are born into this world entirely self-absorbed. They sit in family devotions day after and day and in church week after week and yet seem entirely oblivious to their need of the glorious gospel of Christ. They squabble continually and make choices with selfishness and yet we love them with every fabric of our being. We must pray that God will open their eyes to their need of him.

 

The Canaanite woman prayed help for her child. She said, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon” (Matthew 15:22). We should pray that God will help our children in their difficulties. I have noticed that the greatest opportunities to pray for a child come after they have expressed fear, worry, frustration or in the aftermath of an argument. We talk and then we turn to the one who gives real and tangible help.

 

One day our candles will have burned out. We will be in glory with the King and the hours when we can do good to our children will be no more. Yet the prayers that we have prayed while we are on earth will be effectual still. Why not take a moment now to commit your children to the Lord by name. Let’s remember the desperate state of our children’s souls and petition the Lord for mercy while we are still able.