‘Free’ Government Childcare is Fool’s Gold

At the risk of firing off on too many fronts all at once, I want to talk about early years childcare. This subject is important to me, because the first time that we started to stick out like a sore thumb was when we did not place our precious three-year-old boy into a nursery school. As the years went by, we probably started to look weird on a few fronts (we had large numbers of children bunched together and then chose to home educate) but it all began with keeping dear son number one home while his friends were dropped off at the local nursery.

 

I must admit that this initial step took a lot of courage. The “done” thing fourteen years ago was to hand three-year-olds over to the state for fifteen hours each week. Simon and I ran a toddler group at the time and we were very publicly refusing to go with the flow. I felt a bit wobbly. I asked myself from time to time whether I was ruining my child’s life, whether he would be socially inept and whether I was out of my mind to think I could actually care for four children under the age of four, especially when nobody else did.

 

Thankfully, the Lord reassured me on several fronts. Mothers of toddlers in nursery would tell me how their child’s behaviour went downhill after they had spent some time in childcare. On one occasion I was at the park and I actually met one of the teachers from the nursery school that we would have used. She started telling me how her little boy, who spent his afternoons in a different nursery from where his mum worked, was “having issues” because mummy was giving her best attention to other people’s children and little boy was, presumably, getting the rag end of mum at the end of the day. This conversation sealed the deal for me. I still think about that little boy.

 

I know that most mums feel uncomfortable about government childcare in the early years. Something in us probably cannot quite put our finger on why it is a bad idea, so I want to affirm what is probably your instinct: little babies and toddlers need their mummies. It is as simple as that.

 

God instituted civil government and it plays an extremely important role in our society. The Apostle Peter writes that the role of government is to “punish those who do evil and praise those who do good” (1 Peter 2:14). Show me an area where the government is meddling outside of the biblical mandate and I will show you a disaster.

Conversely, the Bible is also clear that the responsibility for raising children is placed on parents (Proverbs 1:8, Ephesians 6:4). This does not mean that we may not outsource some responsibility but it does mean that we should think twice before blindly handing our little ones over to strangers so that the state can reap more taxes from us.

 

When I read about the latest provision of “free” childcare on the news, it always strikes me that politicians never even try to put a “good news for babies” spin on things. The given reason for placing little ones in childcare is “to get mothers out to work”. We can have confidence that when we stay home to care for our children we actually are working. We do not need a pay cheque to prove that we are not lazy!

 

The truth is that day-care stresses little children. A study by HR Vermeer, carried out in 2006, showed that children in a day-care setting had higher levels of cortisol (the primary stress hormone) than children who were at home. This was particularly notable in children under the age of 36 months. This makes sense to me because small children cannot communicate well and what can be more stressful than being removed from the parents who have loved and nurtured them since birth only to be handed over to unknown adults?

 

When we ran the toddler group all those years ago, I could tell very quickly which children had spent most of their lives in childcare. They simply would not leave their parent’s side! I know this is observation rather than hard scientific fact, but it makes perfect sense to me that removing babies and toddlers from mothers can induce insecurity in our children.

 

I realise that day-care providers might have a great Ofsted report. Perhaps a particular nursery has a good reputation locally. But the question we must ask ourselves is to which individuals exactly are we handing the care of our children? How will our children tell us what these individuals do and say? Will the nursery workers blaspheme in front of our children? Might they criticise “the parents” when we are not there? If our daughter innocently tries on a policeman helmet, will the trans agenda be pushed onto her? Will a crying child be comforted or ignored? Will our child be bullied without protection. Will our child become a bully without correction?

 

I actually feel quite sad when I hear mothers talking about nursery schools. One mum told me she did not know what her child had for breakfast since he ate it under government care five days a week. Another mother told me she missed her child’s first taste of ice-cream. Often mothers lose their confidence in parenting because they pay too much attention to what the “qualified” nursery-workers say rather than turning to the Word for God for counsel.

 

The nation’s children are spending hours each week bonding to adults who will pass out of their lives for ever. Those hours could be spent nurturing the mother-child bond, even if this means some boredom because we cannot entertain them every second of the day. After all, relationships are mostly forged under the humdrum rather than during intense and exciting times. We will never have a second chance to raise our children through those early years.

 

One mother was lamenting to me the particular trials and tribulations of her daughter’s nursery. I tentatively suggested that she did not need to avail herself of government childcare. She said quite frankly, “I don’t think I could handle my little girl all of the time”. At least she was honest. This reason resonates with me since I think that the real reason we are so tempted to use childcare is because we want a break from our children. We know nurseries do not do children much good. We think we could even live on one income if we tried (I acknowledge this may not always be true). There is something refreshing about being brought face to face with the real reason behind the prolific use of government childcare.

 

I would be the first to admit that motherhood is not always a bed of roses. I am not the best mother I could be. It is tempting to think that somebody else could do a better job. However, I hold onto the truth that my work is an investment into the most precious little people that I know. In fact, there is not one woman on earth who is as well-qualified to mother my own particular children as I am, since nobody is as committed to their well-being as I. The Lord has given me a particular window in my children’s lives when I can do them a great good. It is true that I could hand those early years over to the government, but to do so would be to miss out on riches and to exchange rubies for fool’s gold.