‘Older women…train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.’ (Titus 2:3-5)
A mother’s greatest duty and responsibility is to her home and household. I realise this is a controversial statement. I also realise that for some Christian women, this ideal is not workable in their family. I am not speaking to these exceptional circumstances. The problem is that today the general rule is for mothers to return to the workplace as soon as they possibly can after having children, and the exception is for mothers to make home the centre of their activity. The world will vehemently defend the mother’s ‘rights’ to a career. I often wonder who defends a child’s ‘rights’ to the full-time care of their parent (given that small children are unable to make a case for themselves!)
To those who have freely accepted this God-given responsibility, I have some encouragements and cautions:
1. Staying home to care for little ones is an act of obedience to the Lord.
The instruction in Titus for younger women to be ‘working at home’ is a clear word of Scripture and even an unbeliever can read and discern whether we are in obedience or not. When we work joyfully, we are giving a testimony to the world of the importance of his word in our lives and Christ is honoured.
2. Our children will fare better if we are at home.
When I hear about children who eat their breakfast most days of the week at school or in childcare, it moves me. Breakfast is best served in the comfort of the home by a mother who is awake and ready for the day. If children are in a school, they need to return home to a mother who is waiting for them and is glad to see them. Imagine if every child in this land woke up to a mother whose chosen occupation was to watch over that child’s well-being? Think of any problem in our society: teenage pregnancy, underage drinking, substance abuse, vandalism and graffiti at our local park – whatever problem comes to mind would be greatly mitigated if all mothers took seriously their duty to be ‘working at home’.
3. Our husbands will fare better if we dedicate ourselves to our households.
Proverbs 31 says of the excellent wife, ‘The heart of the husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.’ (v11) It is a relief for our husbands to know that their children are being looked after by their mother (after all, who cares more about their well-being than we do?). If they know their children are in safe hands, they are better equipped to work at the task God has set them.
4. If we have chosen to stay home with our children, we are likely to be the target of many insensitive comments.
We have a choice to become bitter about these words or to respond graciously and overlook flippant remarks directed towards us. Consider: the insensitive words that we have spoken to others would probably fill several books! Sometimes people genuinely do not know what we do with our time and speak idle words out of ignorance rather than ill-will, but we can take this as an open door to talk about the blessing of our calling. Nobody can be expected to understand the walk of every other person and we can use each opportunity to witness to the goodness of God’s plan in marriage and family.
Finally, let’s resist the urge to be constantly telling people how tired or busy we are! I realise there are busier times in life such as pregnancy or caring for new-born babies. There are times when we do need to offload or look for help and support from trusted people in our lives. However, if we are continually tired and worn-out and if the answer to every question from every person as to how we are is, ‘busy’ or ‘tired’ then there is a deeper issue at stake. Sometimes we are just giving ourselves too much to do. Sometimes, this is a source of pride – we feel that working hard makes us more spiritual and we want to tell this to others! Sometimes, we feel unappreciated. An employee who excels in a job might get a promotion or a pay-rise. If we manage to feed a bunch of hungry children and clear up the mess afterwards, most likely no-body notices and we have to do the whole thing again several hours later! Finally, consistent tiredness can have a physical cause. I remember struggling through at least two of my pregnancies only to find my iron levels were really low and need to be supplemented.
Ladies let’s work with joy, our eyes on the goal set before us and refuse to do what the world does by continually grumbling and complaining about our workload. We do not need every person we know to appreciate how hard we work. The Lord knows that we work hard. We do not need to give others (including our husbands!) a list of all that we have done that day. It is good to feel tired at the end of a day – it means we have not been idle! To be constantly moaning and complaining about the task our heavenly Father has set us is a slander on his goodness. Let’s continue to work with joy and whether we are preparing meals or cleaning the bathroom, to do it all to the glory of God.
‘The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.’ (Proverbs 14:1)
