Does anybody else find bedtime the hardest part of the day with little children? Mothers often struggle during the 5-7pm time slot. Whilst we are slowing down our children seem to be speeding up! Everybody is hungry, and hungry soon becomes crotchety which can make it even more difficult to get something on the table. For nursing mothers, milk is often low at this point because we are rushing around which means that frantic cooking and speeding grumpy children all plays out to the charming background noise of a crying and hungry baby!
In the light of all of this, it can be hard to finish the day well with little children. We desperately want our quiet (especially home educating mothers) and the extra trips up and down stairs putting little ones to bed and dealing with all of their wants and worries can feel as though they are going to finish off!
The bedtime routine has been in place for eleven years in our home and with four-year-old twins is guaranteed to continue for a number of years yet. Rather than see this as my worse time of the day, I have been seeking the Lord to help me see the importance of bedtime and finishing the day well with my children. Here are few thoughts I hold onto when tiredness hits, grumpy words threaten to spill out of my mouth and children need to be settled.
1. Bedtime is a Time to put Right Any Injustices From the Day
We often apply the verse, ‘do not let the sun go down on your anger’ (Ephesians 4:26) to disagreements with our spouse and forget that we may have put our little ones to bed with harsh words, or perhaps as a punishment. As a result, they go to sleep upset and angry with no means of putting anything right (because they are meant to stay in bed and not come and talk to us!). Children are far more forgiving than we are and are often willing to say sorry for their part in conflict if we give them the opportunity. It is very difficult for a child to express to their parent any sense of injustice partly because they are often not articulate enough, partly because we do not listen properly, and partly because it is uncomfortable for a child to point out how a person in authority has upset them. At the end of the day we need to take the initiative in resolving any conflict and ensuring we have not caused our child to go to bed angry because of our sin, or distressed by our unforgiveness.
2. Bedtime is a Time for Children to Express Fears and Worries
As it gets dark and the child is sometimes left alone in bed or in a bedroom, cares and concerns can become very real. These may be fears about the dark, or being alone, or they may be upsets about friends, work or something else we may not have realised. Often these worries can seem trivial to us, but to our child they are extremely real. They are deeply upset over the loss of a precious toy, or something a sibling may have said in jest. They feel sorrow that the day did not run as planned. We do need to make a point of taking these cares seriously. If we laugh at their concerns now, why would they come to us in their teenage years when so much more is at stake?
3. Bedtime Provides the Opportunity to Pray Individually With Our Child
A few months ago I heard one of my children telling somebody that ‘mummy always prays with us by ourselves when we go to sleep’. It cut me to the heart that my faithless, thoughtless, stingy prayers said hastily and in tiredness at the end of a long day, could have such meaning to my little ones. It is so easy to lament our prayerless lives, but I do rejoice in the fact that for a few minutes each day, my children hear me praying by name to the lord for their souls and that their lives may glorify Him. I also know that the Lord hears me too.
‘In peace I will both lie down and sleep;
for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.’ (Psalm 4:8)
